Being yourself

Last Sunday our little Reconciling United Methodist group (made up of people from UMCs from all over our city) trundled on over, on a bitterly cold day, to a local Wesleyan University. We went to meet with the Chaplain and two members of a Pride Group. I was worried that not many would show up, but we had a decent showing - mostly older people (older than me and I am 56).

Our goal was to show a presence on the campus as supporters and our hope was we could partner with the college group as community support and information sharing. The Chaplain started the program. She is a bright young woman who shared that the university is trying to get a domestic partner package accepted for staff - seems sad that it hasn't already happened.

She then turned the meeting over to the two women from the Pride Group. They were a bit shy, but opened up as they talked and we asked questions. The first one who spoke told us that she was more comfortable and "out" in high school (she went to a large city high school) than she is at college. She has to be cautious. The other woman said that it is the opposite for her, but that she attended a small high school in a town with many Catholics. Both young women were very open with us, but we could tell it is not easy. The first woman has been through three roommates and doesn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

Our questions then turned to church and if they felt comfortable and accepted at church. Only one of them shared much. She said that she goes to a conservative church and that she is not "out" there. She said she wants to respect the people of the church and her parents (who have a hard time with "it" - I am assuming she meant, her being a lesbian). One of our group expressed - "that is so sad, church is the place where you should really feel comfortable being yourself."

I agree with my friend from our group and I know what she meant - but I wonder. How often are we really "who we are" at church. I am a person who speaks out and offers my opinion quite easily, but most times I don't feel really comfortable showing who I really am at church.

I have done it before. I have offered up my doubts and fears and been made to feel that I was somehow "less than" the rest, because I didn't believe as they did or "weak" because I shared that I had faults and flaws... It is a paradox. Part of being a community of faith should be the sharing of weakness and fear and many times it is not well recieved. Individuals in the church sometimes have been open to those emotions and feelings, but as a whole most times the church has trouble with it.

I feel sad that the young woman who spoke cannot be authentic with her church. She seemed fine with it, but I wonder if that is a cover or if how she feels will change. I appreciated their sharing with us and their openness with our group. They knew they were in a safe group and it showed. I am thankful for safe groups like oura, and they are part of the church - part of the whole. I feel blessed for that.