Making Faces

Monday night I went to a meeting at my church of our AWE group (AWE stands for Affirming, Welcoming Everyone). We are a group dedicated to help our church work toward becoming a Reconciling Congregation in the United Methodist Church (a congregation intentionally welcoming of GLBT persons). There are many supportive people in the congregation, but many fearful people too.

Getting together with this group feels very good and safe. We always spend time on business, but also on sharing and support time. I find that is so important and needed - to feel safe, to speak out and share.

As we talked about our situation and what to do next, one person expressed that they thought there were many people who were supportive, but were afraid to speak out, because they were afraid they would lose friends. Another, older woman, said that she couldn't understand that way of thinking - why not agree to disagree. She is a person who speaks out and people do respect her. So, it works for her. She has friends who do not agree, but they are still friends. I do think that many who are afraid would find the same thing this woman has found. Why is there such fear and repression?

I am a person who speaks out. I have spoken out many times on this issue at all-church meetings. I have only been part of this church for four years. In this situation it is easy for me to speak out, because I have little history at this church. When I joined, I got involved with groups/people that had similar feelings as myself. I really don't know many of the people who are "on the other side", so to speak. When I get up and speak I am not looking out over friends of many years (and history) and seeing aghast expressions. I remember one time at Annual Conference in New England I participated in a demonstration where I went down front with a group and did look out over very serious scary expressions, some from people I knew and liked - I didn't enjoy the feeling, but it made me even more determined. At this church, I look out over my little group and then a group of people I don't really know. I guess I can understand those fence sitters....

At the meeting we talked about showing the movie "For the Bible Tells Me So" and plan to do it on March 9th. We are hoping we won't just be "preaching to the choir". How do you get people who probably should see it to do so? It is a question.

At one point during the meeting one young man started to speak of some people who were at one important church meeting (where we were taking a vote on becoming a Reconciling Congregation - it got tabled). He said those couples have middle/high school children and expressed they would leave the church if we became a Reconciling Congregation. He also went on to say that when I got up to speak they all sat there making faces. Whoa, wait a minute - I had a rather visceral reaction. "Oh reeeally!" I said - feeling kind of silly after it popped out. Oops, guess I do care a little what others think, but I know it is not enough to stop me. Then I thought, gee, I don't think I make faces when the "other side" speaks. I hope I didn't/don't.

It is a hard issue. I do think I am on the "right" side - the side of welcoming and inclusion, the side that I believe Jesus is on. And, we need to be careful if we are to have dialogue together. Respect of others is important - taking the high road when it comes to "making faces" and things like that. I have had much worse things thrown at me than someone making a face, but still it did sting....here at my new church.